There was a little girl...

...who had a little curl, right in the middle of her forehead. When she was good she was very, very good. When she was bad she was horrid! I had this recited repeatedly to me as a small girl and I find myself swapping little girl for little boy and pointing the words at my son. When he is at his sweetest I could kiss his face off. He's considerate, thoughtful, funny and loving.
On the other hand, there are times when a simple, polite request for help with the dishes is met with all the wrath of a tyrannosaurus rex who has just stubbed his toe. Spiraling into a ferocious battle when the inevitable request to put clothes on follows.
Just quietly (and often loudly) I'm over it. Time to be proactive.
So, with the seed of an idea scavenged from the Internet, husband and I set upon developing an incentive/reward system. We had been pondering the prospect of pocket money, but money is ugly and he's only four. Best to foster his innocence as best we can, I say. Then the idea of a reward jar for good deeds was tossed about. Then tossed out.
After silencing the voices in my head of all those parenting know it alls shouting crap about kids needing to learn to pull their weight for the good of the family, not for rewards, we set up, then set about introducing our system.
So, for every helpful, thoughtful, non-argument driven action, junior receives a star on his special chart. (Note: any verbal request for a star cancels the opportunity to earn one.) When five of these stars have been stuck on, a "glass razoo" is earned (in reality, these are glass pebbles designed to be put in pot pants). This razoo goes into a dish awaiting Shop Night, when we bring out the booty. I'm expecting a call from the cardboard engineering team on Play School because that, there "Box Shop" (in the picture) is awesome, and I'm so proud. Inside it sits a collection of plastic junk, educational books and tokens for fun things like stay up late time, extra TV time and trips to the playground. All of which have varying values and are up for grabs depending on the number of razoos collected throughout the week. The really covetable stuff costs up to three or four razoos (outrageous, I know).
Now, why I think it's a good thing (shut up parenting advice voices, I'm not listening!).
Firstly, who does anything without the prospect of a reward?? There is no such thing as a truly selfless act. Even when you donate to charity or volunteer, you are rewarded by a cosy dose of the warm and fuzzies. But kids don't understand that kind of reward. Developmentally they need something more tangible. Something they can eat, or do...or hit their sister with. There is no way I could convince Master Four it feels good to help with the dishes. It doesn't.
It's also proving to be a super self esteem booster. Pats on the back and kind words are one thing but seeing shiny silver stars on a chart multiplying with every good deed has given Junior an almost irritating dose of self importance. A refreshing change from dinosaur boy.
Finally, it's dragging me out of that negative quagmire I get in to after a few consecutive days of parenting in a style akin to whacking my head against a bluestone pillar, while he ignores me completely, stopping only to alert me to the fact that he's launching himself off the couch at the cat. Now I can see the good, even through the bad.
Eventually, I anticipate his doing the right thing will become second nature and we'll see less of Sir Rex. Maybe the razoos won't even matter in the end. Well, until we start with his sister...



I wish I knew some French, I'd plonk a bit in here because she's got a touch of that about her, has she not?? I drew her a while back and it's nice to revisit because I've hit a bit of a plateau at the moment with buntyandsars. I've got quite a few markets coming up soon so maybe that will rev me up a bit. I know I really want to finish the design and development of my ABC cards and whip them off to the printer. Those art prints I'm working on WILL happen soon. If I promise it here it might prompt me to come up with the goods.
Oh, to regain my momentum...inspire me kind buntyandsars followers...I need you!!
I do have one exciting bit of news. I have just posted off a big box of colouring books to Kids Style Hub in Hawthorn. It opens this Friday and is a very cool concept. I'm a bit chuffed to be involved. Have a sticky at www.kidsstylehub.blogspot.com I'm sure you'll be impressed!