Yummy, yummy, yummy...

...I've got love in my tummy and several covert stashes of sugar placed strategically around the house, in my bag, in my car and in my drawing room. I have a raging sweet tooth and a mouth full of fillings as thanks. So it's a tough ask setting a good example to my kidlets and showing restraint. Mostly I keep the gear hidden and feed my addiction when they're not around, but they are kids and a no sugar policy is utter cruelty, and parental suicide. You've seen the type in all their ugly gobbledock, relinquished self control, face stuffing glory at birthday parties. Their sugar banning parents pay later when they up-chuck the lot on arrival back at home. Ick.
Well, it is this balancing act between restraint and indulgence of our children that's been on my mind after yet another ponderous morning with the Sunday papers. The article that got the cogs grinding talked about a strategy called 'love bombing'. It's a psychological approach engineered to reboot the neurochemistry in a child suffering things like anxiety or trauma. The idea is you and your child spend a predetermined time alone together where the focus is on the child. They call the shots and you give undivided attention. The kind of attention they hang on to your leg for, misbehave for and interrupt you for, all the time.
Initially I thought, are we not trying to teach our kids moderation, consideration, patience and the general concept that they are NOT the sun around which the world revolves? Surely this technique feeds overinflated junior egos and makes them more selfish and unpleasant. Then I thought a bit more.
Life for kids these days is not what it once was. It no longer consists of long, unstructured days at home with Mum. Instead they are days filled with all manner of valuable educational and social opportunities. Then there's the fact that Mums need to be everything to everyone and are often not present. Even as a stay at home Mum, I feel like I'm never home and rarely available. We are always rushing to this activity or that appointment, I'm fitting in buntyandsars bits and pieces, catching up on housework and feeding and keeping everyone clean. Which means there's lots of nagging, whinging and bickering. Probably pretty typical, I reckon. This can lead to stressed, anxious and miserable kids (and Mums).
Couple this with a bit of trauma and you've got real problems. The start of my sons life was a blur of a horrible birth, long recovery and major life adjustment. Throw in a couple of deaths in the family and you've got a potent cocktail for messed up kids. Again, I don't think our circumstances were unique, and I'm very mindful of the long term effect of this stuff.
I think 'love bombing' is the perfect antidote to this negative yuck yuck we all deal with. Think about the relationship most kids have with their grandparents. Pure, precious and easy. It's because that peripheral stuff doesn't exist. They don't have to parent them, they just have to love them. I want that relationship with my kids. I don't to wait until I meet THEIR kids. Then think about those times when you throw responsibility away and entirely indulge your children with not just stuff, but your undivided attention. It feels good and they feel good, too. Like they matter. Hello self esteem.
So, I'm going to give it a whirl. I'm going to schedule in a day with my son first because I think he will benefit the most. Then I'll do the same for my pink one. During that time I won't have to be grumpy, bossy, stressed Mum who says "no" a lot. I will be the Mum of my dreams. I will be present, available and lots of fun. My kids will feel like they are in control of their lives and that their Mum DOES give a Jatz cracker and, according to Mr Fancy Pants the psychologist (or whatever his name was), they'll both come out the other side all shiny, new and well adjusted. Well, that is after they've recovered from the sugar overload and square eyes, because given control of a whole day, what child wouldn't fill it to the brim with telly and lollies?



Ooh, aren't these pretty and filled with potential. They arrived the other day all the way from America and when I've had my way with them you will want to pin one on and prance about because they'll be super lovely brooches!
I'm also pottering my way through the junior version of the buntyandsars colouring book. I'm not entirely happy with the illustrations at the moment because of my perfectionist nature, so I'm going to fiddle a bit more then, won't you be the lucky ones because it will be spot on when it's finally printed and bound.
I'm also mid development on an ABC colouring product. It's shaping up nicely but I'm still at a stage where I can manipulate and alter the illustrations. so, let me know what your memories are of alphabet books and posters and I'll inject a bit of collaborative nostalgia.
Market wise, Sugar and Spice, Ballarat is coming up on the last Sunday in July. So make sure you come along for a spot of shopping. It's a really great market for really high quality, unique and gorgeous kiddie things. Go to http://sugarandspicechildrensmarket.blogspot.com/ for a taster.
Make sure you save some money for Buninyong Maker's Market the following weekend for plenty more yummy shopping goodness!