Keep your head down...

...and your chin up, Mummy-o. It's been a busy and long birthday week in our house. My daughter has just turned two and I'm fraying at the seams. In my laundry sits a towering basket of ironing. Beside this the washing machine is whirring through load number I've lost count while another load sits patiently in a bucket on the floor. The mop is quietly draining in the sink having just cleaned off the third layer of birthday gunge in as many days. The sink still has this morning's breakfast dishes in it and the loungeroom carpet has a delicate layer of shredded wrapping paper intertwined with cat hair while shiny new toys line the walls. Thankfully, my two precious, sugar overloaded party weary and worn out kids are sleeping it all off, hopefully for the next couple of hours.
So, you may ask, what on earth am I doing fittering away precious time waffling on my blog? Saving my sanity.
As an at home Mum self esteem and identity are a bit light on. Day in and day out I willingly meet the needs of my children and go to great lengths to put smiles on their happy little faces. I try to set firm boundaries and instill in them good manners and consideration for others. I try to discourage greed and materialism and get them to eat and sleep well. I want them to love each other and to be exposed to engaging and enriching experiences here and outside of our home. I want to spoil them rotten and love them to bits, too.  It's a difficult job and the thanks I get often come in the form of backchat or  complete ignorance. I think a friend expressed it best when she likened herself to wallpaper.
Nonetheless, I keep it up. This week I've lovingly wrapped a pile of educational and fun presents for my daughter, including the now complete calico baby (pictured) I've been slaving over for several weeks. We've called her Gertrude. I spent yesterday cooking up a party food storm including (against my better nutritional judgement) their most favourite, saveloys, healthy spinach triangles and a big platter of fruit. While they slept, I covered myself and most of the kitchen with a fine layer of icing sugar and random crusty bits of pink icing as I whipped up "Upsy Varden" for my daughter's birthday cake (picture coming soon). Come yesterday afternoon, I wanted to spend a bit of quality birthday time with my cherubs, so I swept the food to one side and we got stuck into some craft therapy together. Come tea time I welcomed the extended family into our frantic birthday house and we ate, drink, sang happy birthday (a couple of times, complete with candle foofing) and celebrated in style. Then, we bundled a tired Miss two into her jarmies and into bed then farewelled our guests. I then wrangled an even tired-er Master three into his bed. After spending a further hour scraping the house back together I collapsed onto the couch with my husband.
Come this morning we all wearily traipsed off to their beloved ed-gym where I spent a full hour consoling my overhyped, (brother inflicted) split-lipped daughter. When we arrived home I finally got them both in to bed for a much needed catch up sleep. Not before having sticky Panadol spat all over me from my now terribly miserable baby girl.
So, while I choose to do this job, this way, please don't criticise me when I shout or make a poor judgement because I CAN'T just walk out the door. I'm stuck here all day, everyday. I can't turn off. I can't go to work and have adult conversations and gain appreciation for my input.
But I can pour my heart and soul into buntyandsars because it's that "other" thing that keeps me sane and gives me my non-Mummy identity. I can survive on those rare and random cuddles from my children when they show me how much they appreciate me. I can grasp on to those golden moments when they show me what great kids they are by offering their help, unrequested and using their pleases and thankyous. I can go mushy when I see the joy in my daughter's eyes as she carts her brand new, talking Upsy Daisy everywhere while my labour of love, Gertrude, lays discarded upside down in the corner.
So, with my daggy, unstyled, regrowth rich hair, standardised black top, jeans and ugg boots ensemble and raging sugar craving due to overwork and lost sleep I commend all you at home Mums because, although we do it for the love and greater good of our beloved offspring, it's hard, guilt ridden and relentless... and I wouldn't change it for all the money in the world.

One of the best ways to keep my chin up when I'm having a challenging week, is to keep up the momentum because as soon as I slow down, I crash.
So I'm charging headfirst into a massive Daylesord Makers Market tomorrow. It's a special craft experience weekend in town and the market is scheduled to run until 6pm. It'll be a long day but I'm looking forward to it. Last year's event was a cracker.
I'll have my new caravan illustrations for sale, and I'm a bit chuffed with them. I hope you like them, too.
I've got a couple of jobs for all you buntyandsars fanciers, too. Get yourself on to http://sugarandspicechildrensmarket.blogspot.com/ and check out the new and exclusive buntyandsars giveaway. Leave a comment and the spunky little bundle could be yours. Once you've done that, help me with my insecurities by "liking" me on my buntyandsars Facebook page. I'm aiming for twenty five likes to make it a proper, official, dinky di page.
If you haven't had your buntyandsars fill by then, schedule a trip to Daylesford and come to the town hall tomorrow, because I quite fancy the idea of having a chat with another adult or two. If it can involve topics other than poo or sleep, all the better.

p.s. Tell me, why o why do my children think curing overtiredness is done by having under an hour of afternoon sleep? They're both awake. Bum.