I was always rather puzzled by family and professionals with whom I came in to contact in the early days of my own motherhood journey/terrifying theme park ride. I remember walking into my first Maternal Child Health nurse appointment, awkardly lumbering a large bag of crap and a small, cranky boy, feeling desperately tired, incompetent, physically wrecked and in need of help. She weighed him, investigated several of his orrifices and told me he was a big, healthy baby. She asked me how I was and was very sympathetic. But the advice I desperately craved was not forthcoming. There were snippets here and there about what "they" say you should do with a new baby, but they were big picture tips presented in a take it or leave it way. While being very supportive and functionally helpful, my friends and family had a similarly vague approach. I really just wanted to be told what to do, how to do it, when, and what colour undies I should wear while doing it. But it wasn't to be.
So, as is my general approach to most conundrums I face, I started piling up the books and hoovering the words off their pages. Books educate me, enlighten me, give me an escape and often have really pretty pictures. About my house they congregate in little (and big) stacks. There are a stack of magazines hanging out on the coffee table, a pile of cook books chillin' next to the couch, some arty ones quietly chatting philosphically in my drawing room and some novels dozing on my bedside table. All of them just waiting for me to need a bit of book time. In the past there were also several rogue gangs of pregnancy and parenting books lurking about the house masquerading as helpful friends. It's taken me a while but I've wised up to their insincere charms.
All they succeeded in doing was undermining any sense of confidence I had in my own maternal instinct and making me feel that no matter what I did, it was harmful. I got to the point where I could only see all the things I was doing wrong, and this headspace wasn't healthy. Now I understand why my nearest, dearest and most trusted didn't say much in the early days. They've all been there.
So, I've shelved the books and I try not to get too wound up in those parenting advice columns because even experts, I'm sure, are rubbish with their own kids sometimes. The only way to do it well is to stop thinking about it so much. Parenting is not an academic pursuit.
I know I'm not great all the time and I'm trying really hard not to buy in to the arguing with a three year old thing, but sometimes I threaten and shout. I really want my kids to appreciate what they've got and I really try not to give too many treats, but I do love seeing their happy little faces. And, I will continue to bake cupcakes for my kids despite being made to feel I'm feeding the obesity epidemic. It feels wholesome and healthy regardless of the butter and sugar...and I did put beetroot in them. So if it makes you happy and feels right, go with it. Happy Mums make for happy kids so happy Mothers Day!
On the creative side of things, a friend gave me a couple of T-shirts a while ago and I've finally found time to do with them what I'd planned. I've dabbled in some hand illustrated and air brushed T-shirts for buntyandsars in the past and really like the idea. So, for a boy who loves castles I did the green one. A bit of added cool? The castle goes right round so the boy in the T-shirt is effectively IN the castle. The other one is for my boy who is quite the seasoned caravanner. It's a bit of a variation on the card range. They were rather time consuming though, so if they ever appear at buntyandsars, they will be very limited edition, one-offs.
Otherwise, I've been up to my armpits in child rearing so buntyandsars has become mere shiny little diamonds of creative time here and there. I've started a new batch of caravan cards, and each new one seems a bit more refined. I've also enlisted the expert skills of my son. So, when you look at these newies and see a cloud, rainbow or bird, chances are he told me exactly which and where to put it. Right before thoughtfully tilting his head to one side and slightly squinting one eye and saying, "You know what, Mum? You're very clever and I really like your caravan cards." I hope you do, too!
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